Starting with Dennis’ birthday this year, I felt compelled to share a few thoughts about each of my siblings as they approach their birthday. Since we celebrate Rich’s birthday on the 13th, these are the things that readily come to mind about this quiet brother of mine. I know that Rich is my brother for three simple reasons: first, he has a bad back and suffers through each day; second, he loves music; and finally, he shares my penchant for hats of various makes and models!When we were in our teens our family took a camping trip to the Yosemite Valley. I have many memories of camping near the Merced River and setting out each day on some new adventure. Early one morning, Rich and I took off together on a hike up the face of a cliff that overlooked the valley below. This same cliff was used for the “Firefall” of burning logs that has
long been stopped. Some ways up the trail we stopped and took a much needed shower in a waterfall that crossed our path. A little later, we stopped to take some pictures of the incredible vista that opened up below. One picture had Rich in the foreground and the valley floor several hundred feet below in the background. The picture had that early morning haze that somewhat obscured Rich’s face. It was one of my most favorite pictures that somehow has been misplaced. I’ve looked everywhere for it and at the same time I’ve looked for a clearer picture of Rich as he remains somewhat of a mystery to me, just as if I’m waiting for that early morning haze to clear up in a long ago picture.In the present day, you can’t help think of Rich without thinking
of his children and his music. His lifelong devotion to his children has been the most dominant characteristic in my mind. I’m sure at times it seems his devotion is almost fanatic in nature, but no one can question that he wants the very best in life for his kids. With respect to his music, the most notable thing is the recent completion of his degree. It’s not so important what ultimately might come of the degree. To me, the most important thing is that he put his hand to a very difficult task, overcame many obstacles, and completed what he had started. To honorably finish what we start in life is an admirable quality. 
Another characteristic that I recall, especially from our youth, is how excited and appreciative Rich always was in receiving even the smallest of gifts. I remember coming home from college with a few mementos and gifts. He was always so appreciative of whatever he received. As an adult, he has become a very creative gift-giver himself, putting a lot of thought and originality into whatever he brings to a family gathering. For some reason, I remember the decorated bucket of fresh sweet corn on the cob he brought to a 4th of July party at our house.
There are still many things about him that remain a mystery to me. Sometimes I wonder if it’s because he had the unique distinction of being both the youngest child and then the middle child, with all the birth order angst that these positions sometimes bring. Also because he’s so quiet, it’s very difficult to know what he’s thinking or how he views the world. On a few occasions, our world views have clashed, putting us briefly at odds with each other. I did my best to clear the air before our Texas departure and I hope he feels the same way.
One of our sisters, who shall remain unnamed, asked me one day how our family could become closer. I didn’t have a good answer for her at the time because I felt we were reasonably close, given all the difficulties of life. After giving it greater thought, I think one of the ways to get closer is to either express hurts and perceived injustices or to truly forgive them and move on. But the second part of drawing closer requires mutual communication, which takes both time and effort to move a relationship closer. I desire to be closer to Rich, but I’m not sure what path described above I should take. But I would encourage Rich to choose a path as well. A birthday is a good milestone for taking new directions. My birthday wish for Rich is for less suffering in silence and for more communication. I sincerely wish him health and happiness and the fulfillment of the desires of his heart.
My last memory is of a special time in our life together was when we wound up for a short season playing together on a church softball team. I forgot to mention Rich’s love and ability for this pastime. I think our backs have brought an end to our stellar athletic endeavors, but for a time I enjoyed having this in common with him. As time goes forward, I hope that we can find another common pursuit that’s not so hard on our backs.
Until then, I love you and Happy Birthday!
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